Drugs are bad. This much I picked up through school. Except, they’re not, well, not everything. An ibuprofen when you ache, or a coffee drink when you tire are some of the many acceptable drugs in life. Alcohol and tobacco are legal vices. However, in adoption, drug acceptance takes on a whole new view.
What drugs will you accept? In a perfect world, our child would come from a drug free mother. Inn a world of Cam Newtons and golden parachutes, we know that this world isn’t perfect. Accepting some drug use is almost a necessity. One important lesson from our adoption class we learned is that if a mother’s life is so well put together that they would not use drugs, they may not be in the predictament in which adoption is her best option.
So, ok, some drugs are fine, well, maybe just acceptable. One of the vices, tobacco, along with his cool cousin Mary Jane are good drugs (comparatively). Typically, low birth weight is the big thing, but that’s temporary. It’s not temporary that is scary about the other vice, alcohol, more specifically, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
This another one of those fun parenting advice things. You know, your parents tell you the room should be painted green to enhance their skills, and your friends tell you to paint that room anything but green. Sound advice from two sources, but contraindicating. In Europe, mothers drink wine while pregnant. So, its ok. Other mothers drink alcohol and the child gets FAS. So, it’s not ok?
I guess this goes under adoption lessons #34 (you are not in control), #11 (every adoption story is different), and #3 (nothing is perfect). Another thing you’ll notice is that the adoption rules are nearly the same as the pregnancy lessons. You may not have a birth mother to contend with, but you will have a child that’s going to do what they are going to do.
I’m going to add a new adoption lesson. Drugs are bad, but not all are deal breakers.