What are we doing? Why do we think we can do this? Aren’t we going to fail miserably?
As people of faith, we tell ourselves that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a plan, and our child will come to us in the way it was intended to. This is the glass half full. Aren’t we inclined to look at the other side of the coin? What if the reason we have no children now is because that’s the way it was intended? Of course we don’t want to believe that, but it does pop into our heads.
I hesitate at writing this post. While I would guess that many, if not all, parents go through these moments before and after children, we as prospective adoptive parents almost feel obligated not to. How would a birth mother feel if we had moments of doubt? To get to this point, we’ve had to give our time and money. Why would we go through all of this if we weren’t 100% sure?
If we deny those feelings though, we are not being true to ourselves. We’re human. We’re fallible. We can’t predict the future. We know this is a major life change. Has anyone ever been 100% sure with any major life change? Okay, maybe you have, but you hear people say, “If you wait until you’re ready to have kids, you’ll never have them because you’ll never feel completely ready.” I guess that’s where we’re at right now.
We are trying to be adoptive parents. For the last 4 months, we’ve been focusing on the adoptive part. With much of that being squared away, I feel our focus has shifted to the parent part. This is good. We’re fully comfortable with the adoptive part. Now I guess it’s time to get comfortable with the parenting part. As much as we know we want this, it doesn’t make it any easier.